Okay.

britney.jpg

I’m back. Jaded from vacation. Felt like I was off for a fuckin’ month. Upland, California is a nice city to visit if you’re planning on retiring soon.

Anyway:

Phuque on Britney’s VMA performance:

In high school you was the maaaaaaan homie/What the fuck happened to you? (c) Curtsy

I was rootin’ for you too, fam. I didn’t wanna see you end your career last night. I’m not a hater like that. But you let me down, sweetheart – and you cost Jive Records the game. Yep – I’m sure JT is hella salty that you turned him down for that duet. While you were busy fuckin’ up the church’s money, Justin was kickin’ it with Timbo, winning awards, and just plain bein’ cooler than you. I’m sure the only question the press had for her after that drive-by shooting of a performance was “How many months?”

On the real, you shoulda known there was treachery afoot when they scheduled Sarah Silverman to open the show following your performance. I’m sure they hid the shoelaces and razorblades backstage after that comment about your chullin’. That was just plain fucked up. I couldn’t even laugh – at first. Anyway I’m sure the Damage Control dept. over at the label is scrambling to clean up that mess. Their probably thanking Chris Brown for saving their asses too, because his performance >>> Britney’s career, for real.

Phuque on Senator Larry Craig:

Ayooooo

Phuque on Dr. Dre:

I guess gettin’ snuffed by one of Suge’s goons was the straw that broke Jay-Z’s back. After years of getting slapped around by various people behind closed doors (take that however you want), Andre Young decided to hit Barry Bonds’ “School for People Who Can’t Lift Weights Good”. Either that, or those sliders on his mixer board must weigh about 150 lbs. each. Yeah, he looks like he could be pretty damn intimidating – that is until you hear him talk (c) Mike Tyson. Then you just laugh at how gay he sounds, push him out of the way, and keep it movin’.

I’ve decided that at this point, I don’t care about “Detox” anymore than he does. He’s been working on that joint for 6 years now. If I cop his album, it better be in 10.1 surround sound and come with two Blackanese model bitch hoes to massage my balls while I listen, compliments of Aftermath Entertainment.

Phuque on Phuque (no homo):

I’m tellin’ ya’ll – if you’ve never been to a beach (or at least the coast), you don’t know what the hell you’re missing. Seriously, I don’t know how people go through life without seeing the ocean at least every once in a while. Call your travel agent today.

I know I just got back, but I’ve started my first screenplay, and it’s probably gonna take up a lot of my time (along with…you know….life). But don’t you fret none – the posts will continue as usual. “Operation: Save Curtis” finale coming in a couple days….promise.

~Fin

15 Responses to “Okay.”

  1. Paperstacker Says:

    Good to see you back in the blog game.

    We need one of them G-Unit skits though, lol, hope you aint been having writers block.

  2. Phuque Says:

    @ Paper – naw…no writer’s block. Just decided to give it a rest for a minute.

  3. Rey Says:

    “School for People Who Can’t Lift Weights Good”

    ^^^

    Classic Phuque.

    –Cosign your thoughts on Detox.

    –Congrats on the screenplay

    –Can’t wait for more Operation Save Curtis.

    **props**

    –Rey

  4. Big Homie Says:

    Glad you enjoyed your vaca. I need one as well.

    Glad I missed the Brit performance. I heard it was bad and I will not check it out. Dr. Dre is letting everybody know that he will not be slapped around no more.

  5. The-XFacta "BronxRap.Com" Says:

    What’s hood Phuque!!! Yo I missed the VMA’s yesterday because most ‘men’ watch football on Sundays. Regardless of that I caught something morning and just hearing peeps opinion made me see that Britney needs to cover her stomach and get off them E pills

  6. Phuque Says:

    >>Yo I missed the VMA’s yesterday because most ‘men’ watch football on Sundays.

    ^^

    Then what were you watching?

  7. Vizion Says:

    LOL @ Detox…my thoughts (not exactly) but along the same lines

  8. G7 Says:

    didn’t see the performance, but them Britney pics are hilarious!!!! lmao!!! bout to watch the clip right now. Too f#$ken funny!!

  9. Phuque Says:

    Too f#$ken funny!!

    ^^

    Trust me…it’s more sad than funny.

    I almost shed a tear, but then I remembered my Navy Seal training, and I just snapped the nearest toddler’s neck instead.

  10. Rasheed Wallets Says:

    Phuque on Dr. Dre:

    I guess gettin’ snuffed by one of Suge’s goons was the straw that broke Jay-Z’s back.

    ———————

    … clever …

  11. G7 Says:

    Phuque Says:

    September 10th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
    Too f#$ken funny!!

    ^^

    Trust me…it’s more sad than funny.

    I almost shed a tear, but then I remembered my Navy Seal training, and I just snapped the nearest toddler’s neck instead.

    ====
    LOL! Brit needed more time. She looked mad rusty. Female version of TinMan(c) OZ

  12. green eyes Says:

    it better be in 10.1 surround sound and come with two Blackanese model bitch hoes to massage my balls while I listen, compliments of Aftermath Entertainment.

    ^^ sweet jesus….im blogtiring.. i cant beat that line

  13. OnPoint Says:

    Phuque this post…nah good phuqisms, you phuqued out? (nhjic)

  14. Phuque Says:

    green eyes Says:
    September 10th, 2007 at 7:30 pm edit

    it better be in 10.1 surround sound and come with two Blackanese model bitch hoes to massage my balls while I listen, compliments of Aftermath Entertainment.

    ^^ sweet jesus….im blogtiring.. i cant beat that line

    ^^

    Yeah right…you the man, girl🙂

  15. cMac Says:

    is she really that fat?

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