I’m back. Jaded from vacation. Felt like I was off for a fuckin’ month. Upland, California is a nice city to visit if you’re planning on retiring soon.
Phuque on Britney’s VMA performance:
In high school you was the maaaaaaan homie/What the fuck happened to you? (c) Curtsy
I was rootin’ for you too, fam. I didn’t wanna see you end your career last night. I’m not a hater like that. But you let me down, sweetheart – and you cost Jive Records the game. Yep – I’m sure JT is hella salty that you turned him down for that duet. While you were busy fuckin’ up the church’s money, Justin was kickin’ it with Timbo, winning awards, and just plain bein’ cooler than you. I’m sure the only question the press had for her after that drive-by shooting of a performance was “How many months?”
On the real, you shoulda known there was treachery afoot when they scheduled Sarah Silverman to open the show following your performance. I’m sure they hid the shoelaces and razorblades backstage after that comment about your chullin’. That was just plain fucked up. I couldn’t even laugh – at first. Anyway I’m sure the Damage Control dept. over at the label is scrambling to clean up that mess. Their probably thanking Chris Brown for saving their asses too, because his performance >>> Britney’s career, for real.
Phuque on Senator Larry Craig:
Phuque on Dr. Dre:
I guess gettin’ snuffed by one of Suge’s goons was the straw that broke Jay-Z’s back. After years of getting slapped around by various people behind closed doors (take that however you want), Andre Young decided to hit Barry Bonds’ “School for People Who Can’t Lift Weights Good”. Either that, or those sliders on his mixer board must weigh about 150 lbs. each. Yeah, he looks like he could be pretty damn intimidating – that is until you hear him talk (c) Mike Tyson. Then you just laugh at how gay he sounds, push him out of the way, and keep it movin’.
I’ve decided that at this point, I don’t care about “Detox” anymore than he does. He’s been working on that joint for 6 years now. If I cop his album, it better be in 10.1 surround sound and come with two Blackanese model bitch hoes to massage my balls while I listen, compliments of Aftermath Entertainment.
Phuque on Phuque (no homo):
I’m tellin’ ya’ll – if you’ve never been to a beach (or at least the coast), you don’t know what the hell you’re missing. Seriously, I don’t know how people go through life without seeing the ocean at least every once in a while. Call your travel agent today.
I know I just got back, but I’ve started my first screenplay, and it’s probably gonna take up a lot of my time (along with…you know….life). But don’t you fret none – the posts will continue as usual. “Operation: Save Curtis” finale coming in a couple days….promise.